Call me crazy, but I think there's a whole lot of white people in this neighborhood. More than I'm comfortable with, to tell you the truth.

Now, don't go pegging me as a racist. I got no problem with white folks. Hell-- I married one! But Jesus, this neighborhood looks like the casting call for a Starbucks commercial!

My realtor-- or, as I like to call him, "Soon-to-be-Dead Honky"-- promised me this was a multicultural place where my multicultural children could grow up multiculturally. Ain't that some shit? What I can't figure out is why he didn't just take me out back and George Michael me like the prison bitch he thinks I am. At least then this would all make sense.

I guess for now, all my wife and I can do is lock our doors, and pray our children don't come home registered Republicans or Enya fans.