Mr. Mark Little of Groveport, Ohio is mounting a massive lawsuit against a handful of major news agencies. The charge: repeated defamation of character.

Mr. Little states that, “They’ve been dragging my name-- or rather, my face-- through the mud for years.”

His complaint is that networks consistently plaster his face over those of robbers, murderers, rapists, pornographers and the like in news footage.

“I don’t need to have my kids see my face on criminals’ heads every night!” he said. “Do you know how many times co-workers, friends, and even my own mother have called me to see if I need bail money? I’m sick of it!”

Mr. Little’s suit demands millions of dollars in damages and demands that his face no longer appear in film footage. He suggested that his image be replaced by that of his “___hole neighbor, Blue John.”