MILWAUKEE, WI - About to be quoted in this very article, tastes like chicken staff "writer" D.J. Kirkbride will remark that midgets are "God's lil' mistake".

Midgets-- who prefer to be called "little people" or "hobbits"-- will be outraged as soon as they read this.

One lil' fella will say, "What the fuck? We're short with pudgy limbs, but who says that's a mistake? Maybe being a tall, gorilla-armed, knuckle-dragging freak is God's BIG mistake! Ever think about that, Kirkbride, you deformed giant freak-ass motherfucker?"

Upon reading his own article, D.J. will take this into consideration, but promptly dismiss it.