THE FOOL REJECTS MR. T'S PITY
reporting by the pitiless d.j. kirkbride
illustration by the foolish fphatty lamar

CHICAGO, IL - In a press conference held yesterday afternoon, The Fool issued a plea for Mr. T to stop pitying him.

"Yes, I am indeed The Fool," said The Fool. "But I neither need, nor want, Mr. T's pity."

When asked for comment, Mr. T replied, "How can I not pity The Fool? My momma taught me to pity the less fortunate. Who less fortunate than The Fool?"

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